When a boy goes on a date with a girl for the first time, he is often both excited and nervous.
Some people start picking out clothes three days in advance, some practice the conversation repeatedly, and even some memorize the entire restaurant menu, fearing that they might order the wrong dish and be laughed at.
But the reality is that no matter how hard you prepare, as long as you make those few elementary mistakes at the critical moment, the girl’s favorability in her heart will plumper like a stock market crash. If you make one mistake, you might just say goodbye directly.
So, when going on a date with a girl for the first time, what mistakes must be absolutely avoided? Why do they cause the relationship to end prematurely? And how can one smartly avoid it?
I. Being late: It’s not merely a matter of time, but a matter of respect
Many boys think that being a few minutes late is no big deal as everyone can understand. In the eyes of girls, being late for the first date is basically equivalent to a “death sentence”.
Why? Because girls will immediately think:
If you’re not on time for your first date, what else can you expect in the future?
I put on makeup and dressed up carefully, but he didn’t even care about time.
This is not only a matter of time management, but also a neglect of the investment in girls.
Psychological research shows that when people meet for the first time, their perception of punctuality is magnified three times, which directly affects their judgment of reliability and responsibility.
So, even if you arrive at the appointment place half an hour earlier, it’s a hundred times better than being late. Arriving early not only helps relieve tension but also gives you time to tidy up your appearance and observe the environment, which will add points for the upcoming interaction.
Two. Keeping your head down while playing with your phone throughout: A more fatal breach of etiquette than an awkward silence
In this era of information explosion, many people never part with their mobile phones. But if on your first meeting, your eyes always drift towards your phone instead of the girl’s face, then don’t blame her for blocking you when she gets home.
Girls won’t think you’re just “busy”, but will think:
It turns out that I’m not as important as a wechat message.
He doesn’t even have the patience to glance at me. How impolite this person is!
In social psychology, there is a “eye contact effect” – when two people meet for the first time, the higher the frequency of eye contact, the stronger the sense of closeness between them will be. On the contrary, if you keep your head down, the girl will think you are refusing to communicate and even suspect that you have no interest in her.
So, set your phone to silent mode. Even if your friends keep sending messages, wait until after the date to check them. Imagine this: when you listen attentively to her, the trace of approval that flashes in her eyes can actually bring you closer than any sweet words.
Three. Talking about exes: For girls, this is disrespectful and also a disaster
Some people, on their first date, tried to show “sincerity” by talking about their exes, but ended up making the atmosphere extremely cold.
Just imagine:
When you describe how much your ex doesn’t understand you, the girl will think you are still dwelling on the past.
When you say how good your ex was, a question mark will immediately pop up in a girl’s mind: “Then what am I?”
When meeting for the first time, talking about your ex is almost a big no-no on a date. This not only makes the conversation lose its romantic atmosphere, but also makes the girl worry that she will become “the next person to be complained about”.
A smart approach is to focus on the current interaction and let the girl feel that you are a “forward-looking” person. Just as a famous saying goes: “A true beginning doesn’t need to explain the past.”